Have You Ever Felt This Way?
by brencon
Summary: As their family grows, John Paul and Craig experience all the trials and tribulations of family life. Fourth story in my post Sunset Ending series.


October 26th 2013

Debbie was exhausted. Labour had been long, tiring and, obviously, painful. But it was worth just to see the look upon her brother and his husbands faces as the elder of the two held the new born baby to his chest.

"Debs… god, I love you so much more than I did before," he whispered, fresh tears streaming down his face.

"Don't worry about it Craig… the look on both your faces is worth the pain," Debbie said, smiling tiredly at her brother, "Actually… I expect to get a bottle of champagne on this day every year, alright? And some really fancy clothes!" She insisted, laughing as the bouncing baby boy was passed from one father to the other.

"No problems Debbie on that front, no problem at all!" Craig agreed, leaning into his husband as he watched his son wrap his hand around John Paul's finger.

Any one would think that the blonde man was in fear of dropping the baby in his arms, his intensity spiralling out from him in waves as he stared at his new born son. The elder man moved to his sister, smiling and laughing as he kissed her forehead before letting her rest after the strenuous 27 hours.

Moving out from the recovery suite, the happy family moved out to the waiting room, to greet their nervous mothers, sisters and their close friends.

"Heya luv… how is my grandchild?" Myra asked, moving towards her son and his partner. John Paul was so in awe of his baby boy that all conversation around him was just washing over him like swash over a beach.

"Aw, Myra, don't worry 'bout him, he's just in awe, I think you won't be getting much conversation from him for the next few days!" Craig joked, smiling down at his child before hugging his mother-in-law, then his own mother.

"Any chance of a cuddle from my newest baby?" Frankie asked, leaning down into his.

"Mum, I told ya, Johnny is kind of attached to him… but I think it might be time for him to be put down for a nap anyway," Craig said, leading his husband back to the 'baby-shop', as Michaela had so elegantly named it when Debbie had been admitted.

As the doting grandmothers waved goodbye, the doors slid closed. Walking towards the ward, Craig slid his arm around John Paul's waist.

"I still can't believe he's finally here, and we still haven't settled on a name!" Craig laughed, resting his head on John's shoulder.

"I don't think I can put him down Craig, I physically cannot draw my eyes away from him! I just want us to take him home and get started on our family," John Paul smiled, resting his head atop of his dear husband.

"And you just completely dodged the topic of names!" Craig teased, nudging JP's shoulder with her own.

"They are both under advisement, alright?" John Paul shouted back as he handed his child pass to the nurse who then rested their baby inside his bassinette.

"I thought we decided that the one we preferred would be the first name, and the other the second name? You know which one I love, so the decision is up to you," Craig instructed, locking their fingers, "Now, wanna get some lunch?"

John Paul sheepishly smiled at Craig, gave his hand a squeeze and mumbled something inaudible.

"What?" Craig asked, following as John Paul took a great interest in the floor and whispered once more, "Let me guess – you want me to grab you a sandwich and some weak hospital tea whilst you sit here and watch our boy?"

Once more, John Paul sheepishly smiled and nodded his head.

"Fine, I'll get you your food – next time, I get to watch the baby whilst you get the grub, alright? And think names – I'd like for our son to have a name before we take him home."

"I will, I promise! Now get going, I'm starving!" John Paul quietly implored, shoving Craig away to give him an edge.

Giving him a kiss goodbye, Craig left John Paul to it and headed for the canteen.

John Paul was intently watching his son sleep, resting his pinkie finger on his boy's chest as it rose and fell with his steady breathing.

His mind was swarming with two little names swirling throughout his mind, and he couldn't choose, because the bright young face before him had a smile on it and he couldn't concentrate.

So he calmed himself down, felt his heart rate slow, and he could finally concentrate on which name he wanted to use.

When Craig returned, steaming paper cups off horribly sweet tea and two BLT sandwiches from the canteen, it was to the sight of his lover lying across the edge of the crib with his left hand resting on his child's head, his finger's being suckled upon by their beautiful son.

Sighing contently, Craig gently placed the containers of the hot beverage on a table along with the sandwiches. He kissed the top of John Paul's head and whispered in his ear, "Did you choose a name?"

--

The morning afterwards, having wished Debbie a swift recovery (and planting a bottle of champagne in her bedside locker) they arrived home to welcome home party for the baby, which their mother's had planned in unison, inviting all of the family and Craig and John Paul's work colleagues and close friends.

A banner hung in their living room, screaming 'It's a boy!'. With a smile pasted to his face, Craig whispered to John Paul (who was holding the baby whilst Craig was carrying a bag of baby things that they somehow failed to buy before the due date), "Remind me why we gave them keys to our house?" as John Paul giggled at the bubbles that their son was making.

Paul, Craig's best mate at the business they work at, stormed to the front of the group of well wishers, giving his blessing and asking, "Do we have a name for the little nipper yet?"

Craig smiled to his friend before turning to his husband that clearly said, 'Well?'

"Yes, we do. Everyone, meet Luke Jack McDean," he said, presenting the baby to the well-wishers, who choose that moment to gurgle.

February 3rd 2019

As Craig unlocked the front door, he could hear the clatter of a chair as it hit the floor and the loud patter of trundling feet rushing towards the door. He had only just removed his keys, the front door had swung open and the bright smile of his blonde haired, blue-eyed boy grinned up at him. Ruffling the boy's hair, Craig deposited his briefcase and his keys onto the table in the hallway.

"Honey, I'm home!" He cheerily called out as he untangled his tie whilst lifting up the now giggling boy as the two entered the kitchen, where John Paul was just hanging up the phone, "Where's my meat pie, woman?"

Sighing, as he watching Craig tickle their son into further fits of giggles, John Paul tilted his head in exasperation as he said, "Firstly, just cause I WORK from home, secondly, I think YOU know best what my anatomy is and, thirdly, your pizza will be here in half an hour… now put the kid down before he wets himself!"

Once Luke had calmed down enough, he sat at the island situated in the middle of kitchen and watched as his daddies smooched.

"What does an-at-omy mean?" he asked, being sure to pronounce the word just like his dad did, which quickly drew Craig away from John Paul's lips in hearty chuckle.

"We'll tell you when you're older," he said, as he shook off his jacket and tossed it onto the back of another stool, cascading his tie on top of it.

--

The family, having stuffed their faces with enough pizza as they could manage, slumped across sofa, the youngest McDean resting across his fathers' laps.

"Daddy, how come I have tow dads when Jamie has a mum and a dad?" Luke asked as he pushed a cushion under his head.

A glance passed between the two fathers, each conveying a conversation without a single syllable being passed between them.

"Em, well…," Craig coughed, looking to John Paul to continue.

"Well, sometimes two boys can fall in love with each other, like me and daddy, or a boy can fall in love with a girl, like Jamie's mam and dad, alright?"

The boy grinned madly, nodding his head emphatically. Grabbing the remote from his daddy, he flipped the channel over to Cartoon Network.

"Okay, half an hour of cartoons, then you have to do your homework and then it's bathtime!" John Paul announced, tapping at his son's foot to release himself from the sofa.

"Aw dad, do I have to? Bath's are so stupid!" Luke whined, turning the cushion over to cover his head as he shouted into it.

"You have to, or there won't be any reading from your daddy tonight!" John Paul said, smiling at his husband.

"Tea?" he asked as Luke's head finally reappeared above the cushion.

"Lovely, cheers," Craig replied as John Paul exited the room.

"Would he really not let you read to me, daddy? If I didn't take a silly bath?" Luke asked.

"He would, son, but I still sneak into your room – I want to know what happened to the elephant's balloon!" He smiled, tickling his son's stomach, receiving his reward of loud squeals of laughter.

"Hey, is that grumpy old man tickling you again Lukey?" John Paul asked, returning to the room with two steaming cups of tea.

"Oi, who you calling old!" Craig chided, his voice filled with mirth as he released his son once more, "20 minutes left, kid, then it's bath time!" He reminded, accepting the warming liquid from his lover.

--

"… monkey had it in a tree all along!" Craig finished the story, closing the book slowly as he watched his son fighting against his tired eyes as they slowly creaked shut.

"So the monkey stole it?" Luke sleepily asked, rolling over in his bed, getting comfortable in his bed.

"No, he was just keeping it safe until the elephant came back, mate," Craig said, resting the book on his son's teeteringly high book tower. He kissed the top of his son's head and tucked him in before switching on the night light and switching off the main light.

Just as he was reaching the door, his son's sleep-heavy voice rose from the warmth of the duvet.

"Daddy, will you and dad ever want to fall in love with a girl? Cause Jamie heard his dad on the phone talking to a girl named Suzie… and that's not Jamie's name is, is it?"

"No son, it isn't," Craig sighed, returning to his son's bedside, "Son, me and your dad are going to be together forever… so don't worry your little blonde head about that, okay?"

"Okay daddy," Luke yawned, pulling the duvet tighter around himself, "I love you."

"I love you too, Luke."

--

The crack of the wood as Craig made his way downstairs roused John Paul from his staring blankly at the flashing images of the TV screen.

"He settle down okay?"

"Out like a light, like always," Craig replied, joining John Paul on couch, lifting his feet onto to the couch and curling them beneath himself, resting his head against John Paul's chest, drawing John Paul's arm around him, enjoying the simple sharing of warmth.

"He asked me about if we ever would fall in love with a girl… apparently Jamie's parents are breaking up."

"Sam and Louise? Never saw that coming."

"Yeah, and Luke only knows because Jamie over heard his dad talking to a woman called Suzie."

"Poor Jamie. Alright, the next time Luke wants him to stay the night, we won't say no, okay?"

"Agreed," Craig said, leaning up and kissing John Paul softly.

Snuggling in closer to warmth of JP's chest, Craig sighed contentedly, as he interlocked their hands.

"I think we need a shower," John Paul suddenly announced, before patting at Craig's head.

"But I was just getting all relaxed!" Craig whined, taking a firm grip of John Paul's arm and wrapping it around his face.

"Well, Luke definitely gets the whole 'puppy-eyes' act from your side of the family, but I was intending to get you relaxed… really relaxed… swearing to the high heavens relaxed," said John Paul, waggling his eyebrows.

"Oh? Oh!"

And as the two raced up the stairs to their private en-suite, John Paul realised that Luke got his giggling from his daddy as well.

November 8th 2025

John Paul and Craig arrived in the school car park at the same moment, both heading towards each other with confused looks upon their faces.

"Did the principal tell you anything else?" Craig asked, once they had compared the information that had been shared with them from the principal's secretary.

"Nothing else, just that there had been an incident and that Luke had been involved in it. I wonder what happened?" He questioned, a concerned look crossing his face as he watched his husband brush some of the freshly-fallen snow from his face.

"Well then, let's head inside and find out, okay? Everything's going to be just fine," Craig promised, leaning forward and kissing John Paul chastely before they rushed indoors away from the wintery weather.

--

Once inside, they shook the white from their winter coats and practically stampeded towards the office.

Arriving on the scene, they found a boy sitting with two people, who appeared to be his mother and father. He avoided John Paul and Craig's eyes as he began to count the amount of cracks on the tilled floor below him, holding a packet of frozen peas to his darkening eye and cheek.

His mother looked towards them apologetically whilst his father had a look of disgust hidden behind a face of confusion as they swiftly passed by following the secretary's instructions to enter the principal's office where Luke and said principal already were.

"What's going on here?" John Paul asked, sitting to the left of their son, as Craig sat to his right.

"Young Luke here was caught fighting in the courtyard with Mister Smith outside."

Craig's shocked face twirled to his son, who was looking proudly forward at his principal.

"What? Luke, why did you do this?" John Paul questioned, while Craig took Luke's bruised hands in his own.

"Well, it's not my fault, alright?" Luke defended, his proud face looking imploringly towards his blond-haired father as he winced from the pain of his dad tending to his fighting wounds, "Jack started it, he was making fun of you two, calling you faggots and poof's and that I was going to become a shirt-lifter and that he wouldn't want to be in PE with me anymore! So I just saw red and I… and I punched him, okay? And I didn't stop 'til Mr. Faraday pulled me off him."

"Is this true?" John Paul asked the principal, his eyes searching for the answer.

"Dad! Would you believe me, and not have to search for some sort of confirmation, please?"

"Sorry Luke, but I need to get the whole story, not just your side, alright?" John Paul replied, placing a comforting hand on Luke's shoulder.

"Mr. Smith is denying that he insinuating anything against you or Mr. McDean," Mr. Jones replied."

"And that is Grade-A Bullshit!" Luke exclaimed, receiving a clip across the back of his head from Craig.

"Sorry daddy," Luke mumbled, looking down at his hands.

"If my son says that this other boy insulted us, then I believe him. We've brought our son up to not lie and to be accepting of anything before. Obviously, it may have made him a little angry to anyone who insults his parents, but that's our family - we care for each other, we protect each other."

Craig smiled at his son, ruffling his hair before returning his eyes to the elderly man before him.

"Well, whatever the case maybe, we take physical violence quite seriously, which is why Luke will be suspended for the next 5 five school days. I'm sorry, but it's just regulations from the school."

"What about this Jack? What does he get?" John Paul demanded, his eyes glaring at the greying man.

"He will have to attend two detentions over the next few days."

Craig gave an exasperated look, before getting to his feet, "Okay, I've heard enough, let's go home."

And with that, the other two McDean's got to their feet and followed the eldest from the room. As Luke passed his newly-formed enemy, the other boy conveyed a look of superiority and victory, but this was quickly squashed by his mother whispering fiercely in his ear.

--

Craig groaned as he unlocked the door before him, the complaining sound of his partner driving him up the wall. He loved this house. All three of them had gone to all of those open-houses to check them out and all of them agreed that this was definitely the house for them. And now John Paul was taking away from it all with his annoyance over the school's handling of this 'type of situations'.

"John Paul, babe, please, you need to calm down! There's nothing else that we can do, you know?" Craig pleaded, leading his family into the kitchen. John Paul dumped the day's post on the island as Craig and Luke sat it. Luke watched as his father kissed his dad on the cheek, before moving to the kettle.

"I am sorry dad, but I just couldn't listen to that asshat as he insulted you two. I love you two too much to let other's make fun of you – that's my job!" Luke joked, avoiding his dad's hand as it went to ruffle his hair once more.

Giving up on the chance to mess up his kids' messy hair even more, Craig reached for the nearest letter on the pile of post.

"Yes, well – as proud as I am for sticking up for us, beating up that other kid wasn't a smart move, and now you have 5 days to think about your actions, alright? So that means no PS5 and no internet, and no mobile phone!" John Paul chided, holding out his hand to receive the mobile as the kettle began to sing.

"Dad, do I have to?" Luke turned to Craig, puppy dog eyes and pouting lips put to full effect.

"Sorry, little man, it's gotta be done. But hey, at least you'll have the house to yourself during the day now, no annoying parents to get under your feet," Craig said, trying to lighten his sons mood. Luke sighed loudly to emphasise his disgust at this rule as he handed over the aforementioned item.

"And anyway, I'm starting the dinner now, so head upstairs and make a start your homework."

"But I'm not even going in tomorrow, so what's the point?!" He complained, throwing a strop so suddenly it even put a younger John Paul to shame.

"Because you still have to be learning something, now get up those stairs!" John Paul instructed, catching Craig stifling a chuckle from the corner of his eye. As soon as the muttering and light swearing of their son vanished from their ears, Craig burst out laughing.

"What's so funny?" John Paul asked, grabbing a pot and filling it with cold water.

"You were just like Myra their, chiding him like he was a dunderhead!" Craig laughed, bowing his head in enjoyment.

"Yeah? Well you were like Frankie, trying to always look on the bright side of things for him! Now leave me alone, I can't cook when you're watching me, so get out of my kitchen! But don't go up to him, offering him biscuits and beer!"

"Excuse me, who's the adult and who's the child in this situation?" Craig asked, rolling his eyes.

"Sometimes I wonder," John Paul mumbled, causing Craig to retaliate with a quite damp, "Oi!"

--

March 21st 2030

She was breathing heavily, her chest rising and falling in quick succession as her heartbreaking bounced against her ribcage. She felt the tears burn, mixing with her mascara as they fell from eyes.

She'd fancied Luke for the past 5 months and only now was she making an effort to tempt him. He'd been kissing her sisters friend Janine during Halloween break, but something had happened and he'd suddenly stopped taking to her, dumped her like a bullet from a gun, as fast as lightning.

So Laura had worked up the courage, working her hardest to make him like her, talking to him everyday, dressing provocatively, and he'd been interested, he had paid attention to her.

And so today, the day before her sweet sixteen, she had decided to personally call to him, and cordially invite him.

"Were you… you were kissing him?" She asked, incredulous at the sight before her.

"Laura!" he exclaimed, rising from his bed, off the squirming boy beneath him. And that's when she saw who it was – Steven, her own sister's ex! What the hell was going on? She asked herself, harshly rubbing her tears away.

"You're gay?!" She shouted, feeling her heart shatter into a million pieces.

"I'm bisexual…," He whispered, glancing back at his lover.

"So what, you just never fancied me?" She questioned, fighting a sob.

"I like you like a friend, but Steve… I love Steve."

"Love?" She whimpered, losing control as her body began to shake. She fell out of the doorway, back into the hallway. The sound of some game show in the living room echoed up the hallway, the laughter of one of Luke's dads reverberating up the stairs.

"Is it because you have two dads? Is that why you're bi?" she requested, feeling the fight in her heart grow stronger.

"No… it's just who I am… sorry if I misled you in anyway… I just wanted to be your friend," he said, lowering his eyes to the floor after glancing back at his boyfriend who gave him an encouraging smile. Which wasn't a good thing, as it led to Laura to crossing her arms and masking her hurt with a look of outrage.

"And you… were you always gay when you were sleeping with my sister or is it just a recent thing? Or are you bisexual too?"

"Eh," Steven replied, smiling embarrassedly as he scratched his head, whilst Luke rubbed the back of his neck.

"I'll that as a yes," she smirked, her voice an octave too high.

A door downstairs opened as Laura stormed down the stairs. Trying to cease her anger, Luke followed her path, passing his dad as he poked his out the door.

"Luke?" Craig asked, wondering what all the commotion was all about.

"Leave it dad," Luke insisted, closing the door before Laura could leave, passing on the gossip of the century.

"Laura, we didn't tell anyone yet 'cause we want to see if it's going to go anywhere before we spill, alright? So please, when we do tell, you can be the first one to gossip about it, okay?" Luke implored, his hands intertwined before, as he used them to aid his speech.

"Whatever," she impatiently sighed, shaking her head as released her wrist from his light grasp. Reopening the door, she gave him one last glance before saying goodbye to her unrequited love as she left, slamming the door behind her.

The stairs creaked as Steven tentatively walked down to the ground floor. He moved to his lover, taking his hand in his own as he used his other hand to cup Luke's cheek.

"Boys?" Craig said, smiling as if he knew the whole story, "do ye mind chatting with us for a bit?" He asked, moving back into the living room.

"Eh, yeah, just give us a minute?" Luke replied, looking from Steven to his dad. Craig nodded his agreement, retracting his head from the doorway, leaving the door ajar.

Luke moved into his lovers' arms, smiling contentedly at the warmth of Steven, the scent of his hair, the way his muscular frame made him feel so safe, how his head could rest easily in the crook of Steven's neck, given the fact that Steven was well over 6' 3.

The kissed chastely, smiling as they parted.

"Guess this is the day!" Luke joked, kissing the corner of Steven's mouth.

"Guess it is. You okay with that?" Steven asked, smiling as Luke moved his hair from his forehead.

"Course… it's not like my parents can really give it, is it?" Luke joked, entwining their hands as they made their way into the room.

"We need to tell you something," Luke started as he and his boyfriend sat side by side on the sofa, facing Luke's parents. He explained every from the pass few months, all their trials and tribulations.

"Have you ever felt this way?" He said, smiling at his Steven, squeezing his hand.

John Paul chuckled, leaning over to his husband, "Actually,"


End file.
